This is an old post when from when I was pregnant with our Zechariah. These were some trying days but with God's peace, joy, and strength I longed to meet our little baby and live a life with our son...even if he had problems physically and/or mentally....because I knew...in my heart he would be "perfect".
I dedicate this to my friend (you know who you are) who is struggling with the possibility of her young one having some problems.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and
supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." `~Philippians 4:6-7
11 weeks ago the Lord blessed AJ and I with a new child that is being
knit in my womb. The weeks and days have been long with the never
ending nausea, fatigue, and detest for most smells. This is a blessing
though because I am in constant reminder that the Lord is forming a
perfect child for our family.
The first question people
ask me is, " Do you want a boy or girl?" I usually respond "whatever
the Lord gives me I will be thankful". Then they proceed to say,"Well,
as long as it is healthy, that is what matters." Although they have good
intentions when they say this, the Lord placed on my heart last Wed.,
August 14th, WHAT IF THE BABY IS NOT HEALTHY?
So, What if the baby is not healthy?...
this mean the baby will be less special? What about less beautiful or
handsome? A mess up by God? Not as lovable? A burden? Embarrassing?
believe God placed this on my heart because 2 days ago I went to the
dr. for a regular checkup. As Dr. Moore checked for a heartbeat he could
not find one. After checking vaginally and still not able to find a
heartbeat he ordered an ultrasound on me right then. He told me to be
praying ( he is a fine christian). When I went into the room with
Elijah, my youngest who is almost 18 months,
They found a
heartbeat. Dr. Moore and I gave thanks to God. As he was leaving the
room, the ultrasound lady tapped him on the leg and pointed to the
screen. They looked for a bit, meanwhile Elijah is tired, hungry,
teething, and sick which leads to a fussy baby. After a few minutes of
them looking, Dr. Moore said they are looking at the head of the baby as
it looks like it is swelling. They proceeded to look and discuss things
with each other for about 15 min. I did not hear anything they said due
to Elijah fussing. Dr. Moore said they want to do an U/S on me in 4
weeks to check the baby. To be praying. He said it could be nothing, but
then again it could be something.
So here I am now 2 days later.
does all of this mean? Well, after some research, it could mean
different things. I won't go into detail but each one is not favorable
to a "healthy" baby.
So again, what does all of this mean?
means God is still in control. God is forming this wee one in my womb.
Is this baby perfect? Spiritually, no, no one is perfect, but
physically, yes, my "Little One" is perfect because God is forming the
baby perfect in HIS sight. The world would say," Oh how terrible, what a
sad thing", I say, MY GOD IS GOOD.
In God's Word He
says in Romans 8:28 "And we know all things work together for good to
them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose."
IF this baby is not perfect in the worlds eyes, I will not lose hope in
my God and what He has preordained for AJ and I. We will rejoice in
knowing that God is doing a good work in us. He is molding us according
to HIS purpose in HIS way.
I am not foolish enough to
know there will not be hard times emotionally. I will shed tears...I
have already. I may grow weary at times. I may find it hard to smile at
times thinking of my "Little One" who may suffer...
I will keep my eyes on Christ. I will look to Him for my peace,
comfort, and joy. And I will rejoice in the Lord, whatever the outcome
of the next ultrasound, for I know.......our baby is being knitted by
God's PERFECT hands and will be PERFECT according to Him.
Thank you God for our "Little One".
I Love you friend, please know we are praying for you in this time of uncertainty! Cast your care upon Christ...for He careth for you...and your little one!