Monday, May 25, 2009

"Kaylyn, did you......?"

There is a time in every mother's life when something happens with your child you are not sure if you like it or not. That time has arrived for me.

I knew it would, but to think of it always brought a sweet sadness in my heart. It has been slowly approaching, but for me, it was quick. It took about 2 months, yet I could have settled with 3. And even then, I think it would have been too quick.

You see, my oldest is growing up and with this comes changes. Growing out of clothes, shoes are becoming smaller, personality is is becoming more mature, and more. But there is a change that when it happens, it never goes back. You'll never see them again. THIS is the point we have reached...with Kaylyn.

When the family came home from church ( I had to stay home with Elijah and Zechariah) last night I was eager and excited to see them. I quickly opened the door to see AJ and the kids. Kaylyn and "E" came to the door and looked at me in a strange way. I looked them them both in the eyes and it hit me......

"Kaylyn, did you loose your tooth?"

With a big grin she said, "Yes" and opened up the palm of her hand to show me.

My baby's first tooth! Her baby tooth! This can not be happening to me, she may be 8 1/2 but I would have liked to keep it a little longer!

No more little girl, she has reached that new phase in her life when she begins becoming a young lady...oh my!...She better wait for MANY years before she starts "The Change" physically...I am not ready for "that talk" yet! I can barely handle the missing tooth!

Kaylyn told me her story of losing the tooth and AJ told me he almost cried when she told him at church.

We don't teach our children about the Tooth Fairy but we do have a little pillow to place the tooth in. She ran and grabbed the pillow and placed her tiny tooth in it and placed it by her sleeping pillow.

After she went to bed, I wrote her a special letter from me to her and, of course, stuck a $1.00 bill in the letter and rolled it up. I then placed it in the pocket of the pillow and put it back next to her, gently and quietly.

This morning she awoke and was surprised! AJ read her the letter and Kaylyn kept it and the dollar with her for awhile ( I could tell she was excited!).

I still am pouting over the lost tooth, but I thank God to know my Kaylyn is a young lady blooming beautifully inside and out!

I love you My Toothless Kaylyn!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Zechariah's Stay In the Hospital

When the pediatrician told us 2weeks ago he was putting Zechariah in the hospital for fever, we never anticipated staying more than two days. So I went home to grab clothes for my possible 2 night overstay. Grabbed a few diapers and extra clothes for Zechariah also. Off we went. AJ, the kids and I.

When we arrived we were placed in a small but nice room. In the middle of the room was an old white, metal crib, There was a window overlooking the E.R. parking lot and the helicopter pad. In front of the window there was a red orange couch and a brown closet to the left.

I laid Zechariah down on the bed. He looked so small and fragile laying there fast asleep as the rest of us talked and the kids looked out the window talking with excitement how high we were.

After about 30 min. later, a young, slim lady walked in and introduced herself as the dr. on call. She was very friendly and recorded down all of Zechariah's history....which was not much being 2 months old. After awhile of talking she said she was ordering a chest x-ray and bloodwork. So the next few hours were spent getting those things done. When we finished, AJ and the kids gave us goodbye hugs and kisses and left for the night. Zechariah and I settled in and were asleep shortly.

The next morning a new dr. came in and told us Zechariah's white blood cells were high but before they were going to do a spinal tap, we would repeat the bloodwork again to see if they were still going up or coming down. 4 hrs. later she came back to say the numbers were down so she was going to observe us as she thought Zechariah had a virus.

That afternoon he began with a cough/gag. A bad one out of no where. His face would turn dark red and purple, and he would not be able to breath for 20-30 seconds.His respirations also seemed labored at times. It would happen unexpectedly... while he was sleeping, after a sneeze, feeding or just looking around. This had me very concerned. The nurse did not think much about it ( she did not see him cough and said it was probably just a little cold) but called the P.A. (Physicians Assistant) per my request to check on him. While in the room, Zechariah started his horrible cough. The P.A. was concerned at how he was looking and called the dr, a new one, who was on call for the weekend. He said he would check on us in the morning and have the nurses observe his condition over the night.

Zechariah crying after one of his coughing spells:

That night the cough seemed to get worse and more frequent with Zechariah now vomiting his "Mommy Milk" after almost every feeding. I explained this to the dr. who said it was "probably a cold." I asked if he was going to do more bloodwork to check him, he said no,and left. Zechariah continued to get worse throughout the day with coughing spells and his fever continued. Because of his vomiting, they decided to put him on fluids that day. The next morning when the dr. arrived, he said he thought Zechariah was doing well, said we could go home that day but would give us one more day in the hospital.

I explained to the dr. my concerns but he did not seem like he wanted to listen. I thought to myself, "Why would a dr. allow his patient to go home when still on fluids, vomiting every meal, and a horrible cough?" I was very discouraged with him feeling like he did not care to listen to me. Despite my concern, the fluids were removed from Zechariah. AJ's parents came to visit that afternoon and his mom drilled the nurse about what was going on with my baby. After it was over, his parents felt better about Zechariah with the thoughts it was "just a cold and virus".

AJ praying for Zechariah:

Not me however. I know my baby best and I knew something was wrong... more than just a cold.

Monday morning, the dr. we saw on Friday came in and checked Zechariah. I explained my concerns to her. She saw his labored breathing and decided to keep him one more day.

All day Monday, Zechariah slept. He would not eat, would not wake up, and laid there. I asked the day nurse about it who said he was "young" and should sleep a lot. Why do these people not listen to me when I try to tell them he is not usually like this!?!

The night shift nurse saw his cough and commented how bad it sounded. Around 9:30pm, after Zechariah not eating all day, she said I needed to make him eat. I tried...with her watching. He would not eat. I tried changing his clothes, diaper, wiggling him, all to no avail. I asked if she would suction his nose with her powerful tool to make him mad so he would wake up and eat. It was now 10:45pm. She did and he woke up for about 20 seconds and was asleep again. I gave up and went to bed.

As the night went on, Zechariahs cough changed. I thought about calling the nurse but to be honest, I thought she would think I was a paranoid mom. At around 1:00am she came to check his vitals.

She became alarmed.

Amber checked his oxygen and it read 65%. Normal would be 95-100. She checked several times, changed pieces on the machine thinking it was wrong, and then checked her own oxygen level. Hers read 100%. So she checked Zechariah again...65 (this is why he would not wake up all day).

Zechariah before oxygen was pale in color and lips:

She called in some other nurses and next thing I knew my room was filled with 2 E.R. drs. 4 nurses, 2 respritory therapists, and radiology. It was determined Zechariah had aspirated pnemonia and was quickly going down hill. They put him on oxygen, took more blood, took a nose swab, placed on fluids again for dehydration, gave him 2 antibiotics through I.V.

In the midst of all this confusion, everyone left my room for about 10 minutes to "discuss" Zechariah's situation. My heart was hurting and to be honest, I was fearful for my son, with tears in my eyes. I stood there looking at his weak body, his eyes looking into mine in desperation for help. It was a moment I will never forget. Me being helpless. Knowing Zechariah did not know what was going on......It was in these minutes God drew me closer to Him. I turned on some hymns and cried to my Father in heaven for Zechariah. I knew I had to keep my focus on Him and not this earthly hard as it was. I knew I had to trust that God knows better than me and that He was in control, He was not helpless. A peace overcame me that could only come from Christ. Peace undescribable. To God be the glory.

My sick baby keeping his eyes on me:

The following morning he still was getting worse and they decided to move him to PICU. He was hooked up to all kinds of monitors but I felt better. I knew something was wrong with my baby and they were now listening and trying to figure out what was wrong.

We did find out what was wrong. Zechariah had Pertussis "Whooping Cough". It is very dangerous for his age and he could have died.

I wanted Zechariah to always know I was right there with him so at night I would spread my sweater over him, that I wore all day, so he could smell my scent......

Me watching Zechariah after a feeding waiting to see if he will "keep it down":

After 6 more dys. in PICU and 2 in the regular day short of 2 weeks in the hospital... after taking CPR in the case he stops breathing at home...we were finally released. It was a joyous time for our family as we had spent much time apart from one another with little visits here and there.

The children came to eat lunch with me on Mother's Day:

Though my hospital stay was long, it proved to be a good time for me spiritually. The Lord placed it on my heart to pray for those entering the E.R. room, which is a lot so I spent lot of time in prayer over these people. I prayed for my drs. and nurses. The other sick children.

Though I am not bold with my faith, I tried to witness to each person I encountered sharing my hope is in Christ with Zechariah's situation. God taught me patience when I was feeling ignored by drs. and nurses. He placed me in the paths of a few ladies who had young children with whom I was able to share my journey as a mom and how God is my strength and helps me through the tough times of motherhood. I explained how I fail often and repent and go on with Christ's strength.

I thank God for these times of witnessing because the desire of my heart has been to be more bold in my witness for Christ ( I asked for it and I got it!).

These past 2 weeks have been long and exhausting, but God has showed me He is in control. Even now as we deal with Zechariah's coughing spells hourly.

Do you know what Zechariah's name means? "Remembered By Jehovah". How fitting! Zechariah was supposed to be born with Down's Syndrome and came out healthy and now, his life could have been taken from us, but God was and is merciful to us once again.

I thank God for His continued blessings on me in spite of my wretched sin. I serve a mighty God who is beyond my thoughts. He is my Peace, Strength, Hope, Comfort.

To God be the Glory for HIS comfort in those times of unknowing what was going on with my baby.

To God be the glory when my heart was weak but HIS strength was strong.

To God be the Glory for the wisdom HE gave my nurse to check for Pertussis.

To God be the glory for HIS peace.

To God be the glory for the continuing healing of Zechariah.

"To God be the glory" will forever be the song in my heart to my great Savior as long as I live...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Cheerful Heart, Cheerful Heart!

As I stated in my last post, our 2 month old Zechariah is is in the hospital. Tuesday we were moved into PICU because he was getting worse and the dr. was concerned for his health.

We have our own room because he is considered highly contagious until they find out what is going on. I am thankful because I have my own toilet, bed, rocking chair, and a glass door to close to keep us separate.

However...I don't have my own shower.

They have one in the hall so after 2 dys of no showering, I decided to give it a try. AJ watched Zechariah so I could go.

I was excited! So I grabbed my items and headed for the shower.

I slowly open the door and peek in. Neat! A tub and a sink with a mirror ( and let me tell you...when I looked in that mirror and saw what I saw...let's just say it was less than pretty!)

First thing I did was look in the tub....Yuck! Hair all over. Maybe I should skip the shower for just one more day. Nah, I needed one so I decided to play mind over matter and not think about other peoples hair in the shower.

I set my things down, turn on the shower to "Hot" and got prepared to step in. I open the sliding door, step in and then...... WHOA!!! Yikes! Help!!! Move quick!!!......that is when the ice cold water hit me! Maybe the faucet is backwards, so I carefully try to get to it with as little water on me as possible, which was impossible. I turn it all the way to the other direction...nothing. So I start to slowly move it looking for the hot water. And after a few minutes of agony, I gave up. There was no hot water to be found. So I tell myself, forget about washing my hair, even with all of the slime dripping out of it. I go to turn the water off and then I hear a mother's words speaking to me......

"Cheerful heart, cheerful heart. Do all things without murmuring!" Ahhh!!! These are my words, I say this to my children.

So I decided to stay in and wash my hair, cold water hitting my back and all, shaved my legs...quickly, and wash myself down. "Cheerful heart, cheerful heart" I chanted to myself the whole time. Finally I finished. I open the door, step out and what do you know!!! The air vent is hitting right there! Now you and I both know a man must have designed this little room and put the vent right there!

I was one BIG goose bump with tiny arms and legs sticking out walking down that hall to PICU.

I do have to say, I thank God for that shower though, as miserable as I was, because in the end I felt much better....even though I was standing in cold water with other people's hair at the bottom of my feet...

Cheerful heart, Christine, Do all things without murmuring!!! for if you murmur against God and His goodness....

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Something To Do!!!

This past Thursday, our baby, Zechariah was admitted to the hospital for fever. The dr. said he did not want to take a chance with our 2 month old. I appreciate his care for my baby.

While here, I have spent most of my time alone with Zechariah. One may think this will give me lots of time to rest and relax because I don't have the other 4 children to tend to. Not so. Being here with a sick child keeps me busy. Cuddling him, changing messed up clothes, taking his temp., singing to him, and not to mention the different nurses in and out.

At times I have found myself growing bored. With a view of the roof and the E.R. parking lot, their is not much to look at, so I have been using this time to read my Bible,read a book by Martha Peace "Attitudes Of A Transformed Heart" and daily prayer. I also have talked to a few friends on the phone. A little while ago I was talking to a friend who said I can call her if I get bored. I told I might call her a few times today. :)

Then, I sat down, looked out at the window to watch the E.R. parking lot. I like to guess if the car is going to park or drive up to the door. Then I like to guess why they might be here by watching how they walk. Do they have the flu? Chest pains? Are they coming to see a loved one who is in the E.R.? I know, I know, sounds strange, but it is keeping me entertained.

As I was just sitting there, I realized I had something I could do. PRAY. Instead of just watching these people for a cheap entertainment, I can pray for each one I see.

Pray God would give wisdom to the drs. and nurses as they treat "that" patient. Pray for their healing, Lord-willing. Most importantly, pray for their soul.

I don't know these people...... Do they know the Lord?... Do they seek after Him?... Do they "think" they are saved because they said a "sinner's prayer" after walking down the aisle when they were a child but have no interest in Christ... Do they think they are "ok" before God because they live a "good" life, helping others, or maybe just thinking they don't do bad things like "those people in the newspapers and on the tv"? Do these people have anyone in their lives, a friend or family member, who prays for their soul?

I will never meet these people, never know their names, but My Lord, knows them greatly. He knows exactly what is going on with them physically and spiritually. He knows their every thought. He knows them better than they know themselves.

Oh My!!! I must quit blogging for now! Their is a black old car driving in the parking lot and I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO...pray for the people who exit their cars to be treated in the E.R.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Games, Contests, Freebies..Oh My!

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE games, contests and freebies. I have come across a lady who also blogs through my KONOS home school curr. forum who is having a week of giveaways! Cool, huh?!?
She has some neat things she is giving away. So of course, I had to enter!

One giveaway I entered in is called: "The Little Man In the Map" Here is a link to it:

The next giveaway I entered is "A Claim of Her Own" by Stephanie Grace Whitson. A Christian novel set in the 1800's. The link:

Go check these and her other giveaways out.

While there, as I was checking the history of her blog, I see she does a lot of reviews of different home school products and curr. Even if you don't homeschool, you will enjoy her site( may find a new set of books you would like! The giveaway I entered looks like a good read!...and I know you like a good book!).......If you have the time, go see what she has. She just might have reviewed something you have been curious about but did not have a lot of info.

Go check her site out and enter in a GIVEAWAY yourself!